Welcome! Today I am going to be talking about something called FOMO (the Fear-of-missing-out) and giving examples from my life and some ways to counter it. If you have ever felt like things aren’t the way you envisioned or you constantly rush around trying as many things as possible, keep reading.
I first heard this phrase from a minimalist you tuber that I follow: Jenny Mustard, she and her husband David are two very fun and energetic vegans that live in Germany. They made several very good points about FOMO and how it can damage your outlook on your life.
When I listened to them explain this concept, I was blown away by how much of my life I have been stuck feeling this way. I have always had a Fear Of Missing Out, I constantly worried and fretted about which direction to take in life and idealized other people’s lives so much I wasn’t happy with my own. Can you relate? From the books I read to the movies I watched, other people had more exciting lives than me, and I wanted to live it all.
My involvement in social media and my plunge into the blogger world has seemed to make this feeling worse.
I love seeing the creative and gorgeous content other people post, and at this time I don’t even have a kitchen to call my own. . You get the idea, wanting other people’s experiences or lives can be unhealthy in so many ways. I should never feel like my life isn’t good enough or headed in a good direction just because it is not the same as someone else’s. Easier said than done! Here are a few prime examples of FOMO in my life and how I am getting rid of it for good.
The best example I have is my job career, I always wanted to be a medical professional, preferably a nurse, since I was very young. I went through 4 years of college headed in that direction, I wanted to be a nurse and I wanted to help people. Sounds easy enough, well not for me, I struggled with the class load and my personal life was pretty chaotic at times. I basically worked enough to pay for rent and my other bills and spent the rest of my time in classes, for a while the rent was split between two pay checks. You get the idea, not an easy time.
I saw other people getting their degrees and doing it so easily, or so I thought. I never even questioned if I still wanted to be a nurse or if it was a good fit for me. At that time in my life other people were making huge changes in their lives, from having families to living in other countries, it made me worry if I was ever going to have all the things that I wanted.
Instead of making a plan I just worried and stressed over it. Almost 5 years later I am not a nurse, I work in the healthcare system and I am happily working towards the life that we want. I had to choose to take a step back from the “perfect career choice” and really be happy with earning a living doing something else.
My relationships. This is a huge example of FOMO,I always wanted to have these perfect girl-friend relationships, I wanted to feel in the loop and have the most fun. I have always struggled with relationships because I was so focused on showcasing myself and voicing my own thoughts and plans that I never really got to know the other person. I know that sounds harsh but these are things that I am now realizing and have really struggled with as an adult as well. I never wanted to seem like I was less-than-perfect and that was damaging to my relationships, I wouldn’t trade being vulnerable for a real connection. Since I wanted the instant closeness that time brings but didn’t want to take the time to gain that, I just focused on “knowing” more people at one time than really having lasting relationships. I have had a few close friends in my life but the lasting effects of FOMO in my relationships has been hard to overcome and making friends is hard to do anyways.
Later in my teen years I really wanted to have the perfect dating relationship, plans of a house and kids and all that jazz drove me to envy everyone their romantic relationships. I can’t really say I regret any dating I did, but I feel like my focus would have been better spent on becoming the person I wanted to be instead of having the perfect person to love.
It’s okay to take some time and find out what you like and don’t like as an individual, so much pressure is put on us to perform and fit a mold meant for someone else. You are the one that has to live with yourself, be happy with who you are and you will draw those people to you.
Traveling vs settling down right away. In this case I am talking about choosing to spend our time and resources traveling and being flexible to move anywhere once school is done. We could have chosen to settle down, buy a house, start a family and I am sure we would have been happy if that was the way we chose, instead we took our lives in a different direction and now we are utilizing our time to travel. Read more here We Have A Plan, Even When We Don’t Have A Clue!
With all that being said we don’t always feel so confident about our plan, and it’s so easy to look around and envy others people “settled lives”. Thankfully most of these thoughts and emotions can be wrestled with inside my head and don’t need to be voiced, but sometimes I feel like I would appreciate my own life and the course we are on if I didn’t have that lingering FOMO in my life. I realize that we are so fortunate to be able to travel and that we have each other, but sometimes FOMO rears its ugly head and makes me discontented.
I am fighting back against FOMO and choosing to love each day for the gift it is. Sounds cliché but if I don’t change my way of thinking I could spend the rest of my life wanting things just because I don’t want to miss out on anything.
I only want the things in my life that I know fit me and my lifestyle.
No one else can choose our path in life for us.
We are the sole owner of what we do and say.
We are choosing to explore the world around us at our pace and the way we want to.
Knowing these things should bring joy and excitement to our lives, but often I have felt nervous and ill-equipped to take control of my life. There is hope I promise!
Today I am choosing to let go off the fear of missing out, and to embrace our choices as the best choices for us. I hope that if you struggle with this same feeling that this little bit of insight into my life can help you not feel so alone, and maybe give you the boost you need to stop feeling FOMO in your life.
Cheers! Have the best weekend and enjoy a cup of coffee if you can !